A LITTLE ABOUT ME

  I don't know who I am. My life is like the as my poem 'Lost one'. I thought for a long time I have this talent to write. But now I am discovering the truth of myself. And the truth doesn't hold a place for my "talent". Sometimes I feel like I am a person with a dual personality. With people around me I am completely a different person. But without them I am an entirely a different one. 

  I wanted to be the perfect person, and I can't. It feels like I am being someone else. I am too scared to be a friend,a classmate also a daughter. I am letting everyone down. I never will live up to their expectations. I wish I had someone to talk about this stuff. When I take the courage to talk about it, they think I am a freak. Because of all this I felt like I am an different. More than that I wished for it. 

  I was the girl who crawled into a dress shelf to find the secret kingdom that shown in "The chronicles of Narnia". I believed in every fantasy movies ever since that incident. I thought there is a magical world exist for people like me when I saw Harry Potter. When I became older these crazy thoughts grew within me. For everyone else I started to pretend. But sometimes I couldn't shut my mouth. And that made my days hell because when I open my mouth to tell everyone about these things I feel like rejected, again a freak. 

   When I watched originals I believed that my real family was like that and they send me away because they thought it is better to keep me away from the mess. But the top on my list about who I am is none other than an alien. When I watched "Roswell New Mexico" it created a rigid belief that I can't deny. 

   I know I am packed with series and movies. But the thought about aliens and space everything was started a lot before I started to watch the series. I even look out of my window every night with a haunted feeling of somebody is watching me. I don't know am I the only one who has these kinda thoughts? Maybe I am a stupid girl who imagines everything to escape from the present. Maybe I am just mad . Who knows???